22 April 2009

Mars Mud and Friendship

I have found the secret to befriending a shy 5 year old....Mars Mud! Who knew? I didn't...it was a long shot, but it paid off!

Date: End of 2003 (Decemberish)
So...here was this little fellow hiding behind him mama, staring at me, I'm sure not knowing if I was friend or foe, boy or girl. He had the biggest eyes and they stared at me. So I did the normal..."hey"....great opening line eh? Yeah, I'm good like that.

An hour later, and we were still at the same place...him staring, me still kinda not sure what to do or say. Then I noticed it...a small container of Mars Mud. It's like slime, only brown like mud. It was in a little cylinder container complete with lid. So, I picked it up and opened the container. Those eyes were still looking at me. I pushed my finger down in it to see if it was still soft and mushy. Yeah...it was. Excellent!

I pushed down again. It made the small kinda-farting sound. And the eyes grew wider. Oh...did I have interest? Hmmmmm

I pushed my finger down in the mud and it made a louder farting sound. And the eyes (and body) moved about a fraction of an inch closer. It seemed that every time I made the Mars Mud "fart," the eyes (and body) moved another inch closer. In an hour the eyes might even be close enough to look into. :)

Then I stopped. And the eyes looked up at me. I looked back. "Make that noise." Wow! They eyes spoke. I grinned and made the Mars Mud "fart" again. And the eyes smiled and scooted the rest of the way across the couch. "Can I try?" I handed the precious can of Mars Mud over to the eyes.

The eyes made the Mud "fart" and then giggled. And repeated. And repeated again. The eyes handed over the Mud to me. I made the Mud "fart" and handed it back. The eyes made it "fart" and handed it back. And suddenly the eyes were resting their elbows on my thigh, laughing with each farting noise, and smiling! Then, when I thought the eyes had said everything it could, they looked up at me. "I like you."

WOOOHOOOOO....................they eyes liked me! They really really liked me! And well, that was a great thing, because everyone knows that they way through a mama's heart is through her little ones eyes....and these eyes liked me! And something cool.....I liked the eyes too....they were really beautiful eyes!

19 April 2009

What's in a Name?

Well, apparently a lot. We aren't going to find out the birth gender, so we have two lists. Have you ever really spent time thinking about names? I mean, it's no surprise to most that I really do not like my birth name and feel more "in tune" with my nicname. I even have online names, such as Teach, that have stuck around for a while. But really, the power behind a name is amazing.

Many names conjure up strong emotions and/or thoughts of memories, both good and bad. Do I want those emotions or those thoughts tied forever into my thoughts of this child? Most likely: no. Also, the actual meaning behind the names. I mean, doesn't it cause you to think when it says things like "means 'bitter' in Hebrew." Ok...again, do you want to start a kid out with something like that. Maybe a name that "means 'rich life' in English/Welsh/German", or "means 'positive outlook' in Scottish/Spanish," etc. What about something that means "the goddess smile upon you" or "Mother Earth wraps you in Her love"? I suppose making up a name is possible, but doesn't sound like fun.

Then, there is the crazy part of me that thinks "I want a name where I can buy those ugly ass trinkets with the name already on it!" They never have pencils or key chains with Hadrian or Sacheverell on them. (Really...those aren't names in the running, I'm just making a point...no fears!) Although, again, since I hated my birth name, I also hated getting things with it printed on them. So, maybe that shouldn't even be a thought in the process.

I want a strong name. Something that give the kid a boost when it's used. Something that will fill the child with confidence and give it a voice in this world. Something that will help it show strength, but not through power or intimidation. A name that shows impartiality and understanding. A name that softens rough edges. A name that is a reflection of the spirit within this child. I reflect on some of the books I have read lately (yeah, more of my "fluff" reading) but there was a section where you never used your true name because you were giving power to the person who knew it. But, you didn't just have a name...you were that name. It's one of the reasons I have never objected to people changing their names when they became of age (whatever that age may be). If the name felt like your name, then it should be your name. Of course, if I help pick a name for this child, he or she won't be allowed to change it!! ha I'm kidding of course...it's just the irony of it all!

But back to the searching. The adults in this household don't use their actual birth names. So, what does that say for us? Both of our parents were young parents when we were born. Do you think they searched for our names? Or did they have those names picked out all their lives? Or were they influenced by outside sources? In my case, I would say it was my mom's hope to be everything I could be in a daughter!! *smirking* I like thinking that because it really makes me chuckle! I think I'm going to have to be a wee bit more open-minded in that department!

Well, I have rambled, and it really hasn't led me down any paths of enlightenment. It has, however, led me to notice I haven't had nearly enough coffee today! So, I think I shall wander to the kitchen, brew up a cup, and ponder "What's in a name, anyhow" a little longer!

If anyone has suggestions, feel free to pass them along. All will be given consideration. Maybe some more days with sunshine, a little more coffee, and moments of "a-ha" will lead to something worthwhile!

3:20p 19 April

14 April 2009

Things I should have known (had I thought about it)...but never really thought about before...

  • Morning sickness is completely mislabeled...it can occur any time of the day (although, yes, it is especially annoying to have it hit first thing in the morning), it isn't on a time limit, it doesn't happen only once a day, and although it may be confirming/reminding you there is a baby being "created," it does NOT rank up in the top five lovely aspects of having a baby.
  • Fetuses (Fetusi?) do not start out life with eyelids! In the words of an intelligent young dude, "They would so be able to win a staring contest right now!" Creepy....yet cool.
  • Bathroom breaks...they aren't for the feint of heart. The trick is on you when you feel every 10-15 minutes like you have to pee but really, there is nothing there. Well, nothing other than a that orange-sized baby sitting, squishing, and other-ways completely smooshing your bladder. That has GOT to suck!
  • A fetus can hiccup but it can't fart. (OK, I would have never thought about this one!)

Reflection 14 April 2009

Tomorrow marks 19 weeks. Nineteen weeks since our last attempt (obviously successful ) at insemination. That was in December (pre-holidays). I think I read a silly child's story about a witch going to school while we sat there. We sat on the bed, reading, talking, wiggling as little as possible, and hoping that perhaps this time, everything would work just right. If we headed into 2009 with a failed attempt, we could officially say we had been at this for 2 years. Neither of us really wanted to have that claim to fame. So we both sat, really feeling good about things, chatting, laughing, and totally hoping December 2008 was our time.

Move forward to New Year's Eve 2008. I hate this time of the month...the time when we pull out the pregnancy tests or worse, the more natural way of finding out, once again, there will be no baby in nine months. She had already told me that she thought she messed up the test because, funny enough, it didn't come up positive OR negative! Not sure what THAT means for our future, but hey, I was willing to believe there is a certain magic to pregnancy tests. I mean, really, have you thought about how many lives that little bit larger than a Q-tip size instrument has changed? It's astounding, in my opinion. So we talked about the New Year's celebration, what time we were picking up the boy, what time we were waking up the girl, and more importantly, what we wanted for breakfast. (OK...that's my take on the priorities that morning!) Oh yeah, and she mentioned again that a mouse was seen again in the girl's room. We were going to take a trip to the store to get more no-kill traps. I like the idea, why kill something that has a right to live, but I wasn't sure how I was going to handle taking said squealing, squirming mouse outside to release it. yuck! Probably wouldn't be me anyhow. But, I digress.......

With mice in my thoughts, and food on my brain, I head to the shower. From the bedroom comes a scream and "OH MY GOD!" OH great....the mouse is now in MY room! (That was my immediate thought.) I peeked around the door frame I see her sitting still on the side of the bed staring at what I thought was her thermometer. You know the one we have been living by for almost two years now monitoring every single percentage of a degree in temperature change. I wasn't quite sure why a mouse would lead you to stare at a thermometer, but hey, I was game for about anything these days.

I headed slowly back into the bedroom and she yelled again.....well, it was kind of a yell, kind of a squeak, kind of a weird sound altogether. Now, OBVIOUSLY she knows that if it really is a mouse, I am NOT the person to call. I couldn't fathom why she thought I would want to even act like I was going to be the stud who captured the mouse! So I walked down the hall, watching her stare at the thermometer, looking for that annoying rodent, and then stopped when she started pointing the thermometer at me. "LOOK! LOOK!" At least I think that is what she squeaked out. Funny. There were tears in her eyes. And a silly goofy grin. And, interestingly enough, it really wasn't her thermometer. (Hey, they are both white!) It was a pregnancy test. After an hour of sitting by the bed, it had decided to give us a result. And wouldn't you know it...POSITIVE!

Now, I know what went through my head...and it's probably what goes through most people's thoughts: It's only a stick...it's not really actual proof that there is a baby. Don't get too crazy about it.

So, of course, being the ass I am, I voiced those words. And those tear filled eyes focused on me and said, "Fail-proof. We're going to have a baby." So, really, how can you refute words about a medical item you know nothing about? So, I sat down on the bed and thought, hey, we're going to have a baby. And then I laughed. Seems like the year 2009 was going to waaaaay more in store for me than I had ever, ever, ever in my wildest dreams, anticipated. Hot damn! :)