14 April 2009

Reflection 14 April 2009

Tomorrow marks 19 weeks. Nineteen weeks since our last attempt (obviously successful ) at insemination. That was in December (pre-holidays). I think I read a silly child's story about a witch going to school while we sat there. We sat on the bed, reading, talking, wiggling as little as possible, and hoping that perhaps this time, everything would work just right. If we headed into 2009 with a failed attempt, we could officially say we had been at this for 2 years. Neither of us really wanted to have that claim to fame. So we both sat, really feeling good about things, chatting, laughing, and totally hoping December 2008 was our time.

Move forward to New Year's Eve 2008. I hate this time of the month...the time when we pull out the pregnancy tests or worse, the more natural way of finding out, once again, there will be no baby in nine months. She had already told me that she thought she messed up the test because, funny enough, it didn't come up positive OR negative! Not sure what THAT means for our future, but hey, I was willing to believe there is a certain magic to pregnancy tests. I mean, really, have you thought about how many lives that little bit larger than a Q-tip size instrument has changed? It's astounding, in my opinion. So we talked about the New Year's celebration, what time we were picking up the boy, what time we were waking up the girl, and more importantly, what we wanted for breakfast. (OK...that's my take on the priorities that morning!) Oh yeah, and she mentioned again that a mouse was seen again in the girl's room. We were going to take a trip to the store to get more no-kill traps. I like the idea, why kill something that has a right to live, but I wasn't sure how I was going to handle taking said squealing, squirming mouse outside to release it. yuck! Probably wouldn't be me anyhow. But, I digress.......

With mice in my thoughts, and food on my brain, I head to the shower. From the bedroom comes a scream and "OH MY GOD!" OH great....the mouse is now in MY room! (That was my immediate thought.) I peeked around the door frame I see her sitting still on the side of the bed staring at what I thought was her thermometer. You know the one we have been living by for almost two years now monitoring every single percentage of a degree in temperature change. I wasn't quite sure why a mouse would lead you to stare at a thermometer, but hey, I was game for about anything these days.

I headed slowly back into the bedroom and she yelled again.....well, it was kind of a yell, kind of a squeak, kind of a weird sound altogether. Now, OBVIOUSLY she knows that if it really is a mouse, I am NOT the person to call. I couldn't fathom why she thought I would want to even act like I was going to be the stud who captured the mouse! So I walked down the hall, watching her stare at the thermometer, looking for that annoying rodent, and then stopped when she started pointing the thermometer at me. "LOOK! LOOK!" At least I think that is what she squeaked out. Funny. There were tears in her eyes. And a silly goofy grin. And, interestingly enough, it really wasn't her thermometer. (Hey, they are both white!) It was a pregnancy test. After an hour of sitting by the bed, it had decided to give us a result. And wouldn't you know it...POSITIVE!

Now, I know what went through my head...and it's probably what goes through most people's thoughts: It's only a stick...it's not really actual proof that there is a baby. Don't get too crazy about it.

So, of course, being the ass I am, I voiced those words. And those tear filled eyes focused on me and said, "Fail-proof. We're going to have a baby." So, really, how can you refute words about a medical item you know nothing about? So, I sat down on the bed and thought, hey, we're going to have a baby. And then I laughed. Seems like the year 2009 was going to waaaaay more in store for me than I had ever, ever, ever in my wildest dreams, anticipated. Hot damn! :)